The Worst Martial Arts Movie Ever Made? by Dave Goode

I'm a huge fan of martial arts in American popular culture pre-Kung Fu Mania.That usually means judo or jiu jitsu. But sometimes you can find some mention of karate. For instance there were the Burns Bannion books written by Earl Norman (real name Norman Thompson) and published by Berkley Books. There were nine books in all. The original series began in 1958 with the novel KILL ME IN TOKYO and ended in 1967 with KILL ME IN ROPPONGI. The books were about Burns Bannon , an ex-G.I. who stays in Japan after the war to study karate and ends up becoming a private investigator. He actually becomes a private eye when a drunken American businessman hires him because he thinks Bannon looks like a private eye. Or at least the one he was expecting to meet. These books were most likely the first books from an American publisher to feature a hero using karate.

  

Which leads us to the 1961 movie KARATE, THE HAND OF DEATH. This 80 minute flick was produced by Joe Holt who also directed and starred in it. This was probably the first American-made movie with the word " karate " in the title. Holt had also directed the exploitation movies THE SHAMELESS (1962) , ALL OF ME (1963) and THE WILD WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD. The story for KARATE , THE HAND OF DEATH has Holt playing Matt Carver , a former American soldier who served in the Pacific during World War Two returning to Japan where he was raised and trained in karate and gets involved in a mystery involving the murder of a Nazi war criminal. What makes this flick arguably the " worst martial arts movie ever made " is the almost total lack of karate action in it.

It's obvious from the get go that the director/star had no martial arts training whatsoever. It had me wishing for what has come to be called television-karate. You know the " karate " we saw on early 1960s television. Which was more or less a few judo throws with some shuto blows and reverse punches added. The movie was made with the cooperation of the Japanese Karate Federation. And the only real karate in the film is provided by members of this organization. There is a tameshiwari exhibition and members of the group demonstrate some self-defense techniques. But the climatic battle between the hero and the villain is laughable. You would think that if you were going to star in a movie about karate that you might take a lesson or two. Or at least hire a real martial artist to star in it. Maybe someone like Bruce Tegner.

If you were a martial arts practitioner back in the 1970s the name Bruce Tegner is as familiar to you as Bruce Lee. Odds are you probably owned at least one of his books on self-defense. Both his parents were well known experts in jiu jitsu and judo. Tegner began his judo training at age two. He would win a number of judo competitions and over the years he studied a number of other martial arts including karate and aikido. He appeared in the movies GIRLS TOWN (1959) , THE MARRIAGE-GO-ROUND (1961) and GOOD TIMES (1967). And on television in an episode of THE ADVENTURES OF OZZIE & HARRIETT he portrays Ricky Nelson's karate instructor. Do you remember the " karate fight " between Frank Sinatra and Henry Silva in THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962) ? Well that was choreographed by Tegner. And though it may not be the best martial arts fight you'll see in a movie it was revolutionary for it's time. And far better than anything you'll see in KARATE, THE HAND OF DEATH.

Speaking of far better than Karate, Hand of Death, we recommend JUDO COMICS by Dave Goode and illustrated by Vance Capley. It's available here:

HERE

But before you go, enjoy El Tigre!! 

 by Dave Goode & Vance Capley

THE GORILLA AND THE GIRL by Dave Goode

When I was a kid I couldn't get enough of movies with gorillas in them. Or should I say movies with "ape-suit actors" in them.Be it a mad scientist movie , sinew & sandal flick , jungle adventure , comedy or horror/mystery programmer. If there was an ape in the movie said movie became that much better in my eyes. Remember I grew up in the Silver Age of Comics. One of my favorite actors from the ape-suit cinema was Emil Van Horn.

Not as large a man as some other ape-suit actors. For instance B-Western star Ray " Crash " Corrigan stood over 6' 4" tall. But Van Horn in his gorilla suit was no less frightening when threatening a serial heroine or other damsel in distress. And besides real gorillas were rarely taller than 5' 9". I'm also a big fan of his costume's elongated arms. Built no doubt to replicate a gorilla's arm length. If nothing else it gave him a unique look.

Aside from appearing in movies like KEEP 'EM FLYING with Abbott & Costello and THE APE MAN with Bela Lugosi Van Horn worked burlesque revues and night clubs performing gorilla and girl acts. These acts were variations of the damsel in distress being threatened by a monster theme found in B-Movies with some adagio dance moves added to the mix.

 When I came up with the Phantom Gorilla idea that Vance Capley and myself used in Judo Comics we gave the judoka who had his brain surgically implanted in the body of a gorilla a secret identity as an ape-suit actor in a gorilla and girl act. We also had the Mr.Incognito character face off against a gorilla on a couple of occasions. Largely because there were too few Mexilucha movies that featured the hero going up an enraged ape. Then watch us answer questions and have lots of fun. Finally, go to lulu.com and buy JUDO COMICS by Dave Goode and Vance Capley...you'll be glad you did.

Benedict Arnold's Face On The Dollar Bill by Dave Goode

The day after the " Bizzaro Jerry " episode of SEINFELD aired on October 4, 1996, I got a call from my sister Katherine who wanted to know if the show had given an accurate take on the Bizzaro world. I told her "pretty much". But the episode reminded me more of Earth-3 from the Silver Age of Comics. The world that was introduced in Justice League of America No. 29 (August 1964) in a story titled Crisis On Earth Three. Written by Gardner Fox and illustrated by Mike Sekowsky the story introduced the Crime Syndicate of America with it's evil counterparts of Superman (Ultraman) , Batman (Owlman) , Wonder Woman (Superwoman) , the Flash (Johnny Quick) and Green Lantern (Power Ring). This was one of the best remembered stories of the Silver Age.




We were shown a bit Earth Three's history. For instance Columbus discovered
Europe. President John Wilkes Boothe was assassinated by Abraham Lincoln. And British colonists won their independence from America. But we weren't really given any details about life on Earth-3. Or any real background on the members of the Crime Syndicate. That would change in 2000 in the graphic novel JLA:EARTH 2 written by Grant Morrison and illustrated by Frank Quitely. In this story we find that Clark Kent (Ultraman) is the cuckold husband of Lois Lane (Superwoman) who is having an affair with Bruce Wayne (Owlman). It's a world where evil and corruption are the norm. Where the slogan on money reads " In Mammon We Trust " and Benedict Arnold's face is on the dollar bill.

Another variation on an evil counterpart to the Justice League appeared during the Silver Age at Marvel Comics. The Squadron Sinister made their first appearance in the final panel of Avengers No.69 (October 1969). They were Hyperion (Superman) , Nighthawk (Batman), the Whizzer (the Flash) and Dr.Spectrum (Green Lantern). No Wonder Woman counterpart this time around. In the next issue Avengers No.70 (November 1969) the Squadron are defeated by Thor ,Captain America ,Goliath and Iron Man. The story written by Roy Thomas and illustrated by Sal Buscema gave fan-boys a battle they had long wanted to see...the Avengers vs. the Justice League.






The evil twin is a superhero comic book cliche that has existed as long as there
have been superhero comics.It goes back further to ancient mythology. Any number of heroes has at one time or another had to fight an " evil twin ".  One of my favorite examples is Professor Zoom a.k.a the Reverse-Flash. Eobard Thawne made his first appearance in comics in The Flash No.139 (September 1963) and was created by writer John Broome and artist Carmine Infantino. A man from the distant future he possesses the same super-speed powers as the "Fastest Man Alive". Wearing the same costume as the Flash , only with the colors reversed ,Thawne has been a thorn in the side of the Flash throughout the Silver Age and beyond.

Go and grab some comics!! Right HERE!!

Now let us run at super speedster speeds and travel waaay back to March 12th 2010 and see the very first Judo Comics TV
hosted by the man of half a dozen masks, Mr. Incognito:

A Name Synonymous With Strength! by Dave Goode

 
I remember as a boy my family gathering around our big Magnavox television in the living room when a biblical epic was broadcast. One of my favorites was Cecil B. DeMille's SAMSON AND DELILAH (1949) starring Victor Mature and Hedy Lamarr. Of course I already knew the story about the Hebrew strongman and Philistine temptress from Sunday school. But the movie was so much like a sinew & sandal flick I couldn't help but love it. And after all the name Samson has become as synonymous with strength as Hercules.

One of the scenes I remember especially well comes when after Samson is blinded by the Philistines and he is brought to the temple of their god Dagon so that they can mock and make sport of him. I remember it for a comment my mother would make. When one of the Philistines remarks that " he looks like a man of iron " , or something like that.  My mother commented " Who are they kidding? He needs a brassiere." To be fair to Victor Mature she said the same thing about Johnny Weissmuller as he appeared in TARZAN AND THE MERMAIDS. Whenever I think of my mother's remark it reminds me that Cecil B. DeMille had wanted Steve Reeves to play the role of Samson.

Oddly enough director DeMille wanted the Mr.America winner to drop down to 175 lbs. from his competitive weight of 215. His reasoning being that Samson's strength came from GOD and not his muscles. Good enough. My question is why hire a bodybuilder for the role and then tell him to lose the muscles that must have played a part in your hiring him for the role in the first place? In any case Victor Mature was the better actor. And his beefy , if undefined , physique made him a believable Samson.

And then of course there was Hedy Lamarr as the Philistine temptress Delilah whose name has become synonymous with betrayal. Her performance is all seductive stares and swaying hips. She set the standard for all the sirens of sinew & sandal cinema to follow. There is a funny story about Lamarr complaining to DeMille that Mature was trying to upstage her making sure in their scenes together his face was turned to the camera and her back was to the camera. DeMille replied " Do you think there is any man in the world who would rather look at his face instead of your a** ? "

Thanks for visiting! Go grab a copy of JUDO COMICS by Dave Goode and Vance Capley available at lulu.com

Santo Science Fiction by Dave Goode

For years I've referred to Santo vs. The Vampire Women as the "Gone With The Wind of Mexiluchahero Movies". But if the genre has it's Citizen Kane than it would be Santo el Enmascarado de Plata vs. La Invasion de los Marcianos. Or as it's known in America , Santo vs. The Martian Invasion. Directed by Alfredo B. Crevenna and written by Rafael Garcia Travesi if this flick had been dubbed into English it would have enjoyed the same cult status in America that Santo vs. The Vampire Woman does. It still rates high on the Top 10 lists of fans of the genre.

Co-starring Wolf Ruvinskis and Maura Monti the story in some ways resembles the 50s sci-fi classic The Day The Earth Stood Still. Though the poster would make you think you were going to watch a Mexican version of Robinson Crusoe On Mars. What appears to be a Martian advance guard comes to Earth to force the human race to live in peace and stop experimenting with the A-Bomb. Living in peace seems to be a good idea. But gosh darn it we don't want aliens from another world to force us into it. So it's up to the Man in the Silver Mask to save the Earth.

Usually when I think of comic book adaptations of el Santo's movies it's Steve Ditko I imagine drawing them. The original artist on Spider-Man and Dr.Strange would have been perfect illustrating the adventures of a silver-masked grappler wrestling against the principalities and powers of darkness. But for this science fiction flick adapted to the comic book page I can only think of one of three Silver Age Superman artists illustrating it. Curt Swan working in a tag-team with George Klein or Murphy Anderson. Or Kurt Schaffenberger just to see his take on the Martian women. And finally Wayne Boring who drew the Man of Steel with the beefy , barrel-chested physique of a professional wrestler.

 Look, kids!! It's Dr. Judo and flying saucers over Hollywood!

Now, representing the very first Judo Comics TV from March 10th 2010:

 We've been making comics even longer...here's proof! Grab

JUDO COMICS!

Burly Q Comics by Dave Goode

 
I have been a fan of old-time burlesque and striptease since the first time I saw the movie GYPSY as a preteen. Starring Rosalind Russell and Natalie Wood (in the title role) this was the movie adaptation of the Broadway play based on the autobiography of legendary striptease artiste' Gypsy Rose Lee. Only the last third of the movie dealt with Gypsy's life as a burlesque queen. But it left a lasting impression on me. Burlesque like pro wrestling came across to me as something both glamorous and seedy.








Pro wrestling always seemed like a burlesque of big time sport. Boxing specifically , though the analogy pro wrestling is to amateur wrestling as striptease is to ballet works too. Pro wrestling had Ricki Starr and Gorilla Monsoon.While burlesque had Candy Barr and Tempest Storm. Back in the 80s I did some work for John Mozzer's underground comic WEIRD SMUT. I created two (forgive the joke) "strips" for the first two issues starring ecdysiast, Stella Starlett and Sugar Caine. Both features were illustrated by pin-up cartoonist supreme Bill Ward.

I had been introduced to Ward's art back in the 60s in the pages of mags like HUMORAMA. These were magazines that featured recycled burlesque jokes , pin-up pictures of Hollywood starlets and strippers in lingerie and swim-wear and pin-up cartoons by Ward and others , like Dan De Carlo. I absolutely loved Ward's work. I think I enjoyed his cartoons even more than the " girlie photos ". But it was funny looking at De Carlo's pin-up cartoons with strippers and bathing beauties that looked like Betty , Veronica and Midge a couple of years after a graduation from Riverdale High School.

We make comics! Currently you can grab JUDO COMICS. We also make comics for this very blog. A few weeks ago you met the Bronze Adonis. In that strip you also met a lovely young lady. And she's back....Miss Ginger Snaps~