A What If Moment If There Ever Was One by Dave Goode

A WHAT IF MOMENT IF THERE EVER WAS ONE by Dave Goode

The first time I came across Joe Robinson was in the book Tarzan Of The Movies. It seems Robinson was to have starred in a movie titled TARZAN, THE KING OF BRUTE FORCE (1960). The estate of Edgar Rice Burroughs threatened to halt the unauthorized flick's release for copyright infringement. So Robinson's character was renamed "Thaur", or in some cases "Taur". When I got to see the movie a few years later I couldn't understand why they tried to name him Tarzan to begin with. This was a straight up sinew & sandal flick that had nothing to do with Edgar Rice Burroughs' jungle hero. Better to have just named him Maciste. In any case there would be up a sequel THAUR AND THE AMAZON WOMEN (1963). (aka Thor & the Amazon Women)

I would later find Robinson was a third generation professional wrestler. He was also a judoka who along with his brother Doug instructed actress Honor Blackman from the hit television series THE AVENGERS. Over the years he would appear in a number of movies and television series. He also worked steadily as a stuntman.




His first credited feature role however was in A KID FOR TWO FARTHINGS (1955).

Based on a book by Wolf Mankowitz, who also wrote the screenplay for the
movie, Robinson plays a bodybuilder who works in a tailor shop in London's East end. He accepts a promoter's offer to become a pro wrestler so he can afford to buy his girl friend played by the beautiful British actress Diana Dors. 


The pair remind me quite a bit of Mickey Hargitay and Jayne Mansfield. I can't help but imagine the story transported to New York's garment district and starring Jayne & Mickey. In the course of the movie Robinson faces off against the former heavyweight boxing champion of the world Primo Carnera who plays a squared circle heel called  "Python Macklin". Looking at Robinson and Carnera together the duo remind me of Tarzan and Phobeg in Edgar Rice Burroughs' story TARZAN AND THE CITY OF GOLD. Carnera also appeared in HERCULES UNCHAINED (1959) starring Steve Reeves and that got me to thinking.

The story goes Italian movie producer Federico Teti was looking for an actor to appear in his peplum epic HERCULES (1957). His daughter would see the musical comedy ATHENA (1954) that had 1950 Mr. Universe Steve Reeves in a featured role on television and told her father that she had found his Hercules. The rest is as they say history. But what if instead of ATHENA it was A KID FOR TWO FARTHINGS that Teti's daughter saw on television? How would the world of pop culture possibly have been changed?

Below is a new Golden Adonis piece by Dave Goode and Vance Capley for a future project that the dynamic duo is working on. It seems somehow appropriate for this week's blog.

Golden Adonis created by Dave Goode art by Vance Capley

If you grew up as a "monster kid", do you remember Kolchak the Night Stalker? Well, the good folks at Visual Comics did, and boy do they have a treat for YOU! Monster Magazine issue number 6 is 120 pages LOADED with tons of information about Kolchak the Night Stalker from Mark Dawidziak, Sterling Clark, and the Monster Magazine staff. Warner Todd Huston writes about TV horror host Svengoolie. Our very own Dave Goode unwraps the Mummy's Hand. We visit with Horror Host of the month the Unusual Stranger...and much much more. This issue sports 3, that's right, 3 super cool covers by Ricky Blalock, Sterling Clark, and Vance Capley.

THE NEVER ENDING DEBATE by Dave Goode

If you put a group of Tarzan fans together in a room inevitably a debate will break out about the Lord of the Jungle's physique and how Tarzan should be built. The reason there is a debate is because Edgar Rice Burroughs never wrote how much Tarzan weighed. He said that he was slightly over six feet tall. But never gave his literary hero an approximate weight. One group declares that since Tarzan is strong enough to wrestle a gorilla he should look strong enough to wrestle a gorilla. To many that means being built like a Mr. Olympia winner. The members of the other group imagine Tarzan being built like a decathlete. I'm a member of the latter group.

Tarzan of the Apes was first published in 1912.That was the year legendary Native-American athlete Jim Thorpe earned the unofficial title of the " World's Greatest Athlete " for himself and generations of Olympic decathlon champions to follow. He placed first in four of the decathlon's ten events. And never placed lower than third in any of the other events. He also won the pentathlon. In that competition he won four of the five events while placing third in the javelin.My point being Burroughs described Tarzan as being the " world's greatest athlete ". Thorpe stood 6' 1" and weighed 200 pounds depending on what he ate for breakfast.


You want someone who was a bit larger? How about heavyweight champion Jack Johnson? In 1912 Johnson was in the fourth year of his reign as world champion. Johnson is listed in his prime as standing 6' 2" and weighing 215 pounds.








And then there was Eugene Sandow a.k.a The Great Sandow. A professional
strongman who was even better known for his physique. Sandow looked as if he had been carved out of marble. If the 5' 9" 190 pound strongman had been taller he might have been a match for Tarzan. Charles Atlas could have fit the bill as well. But like Sandow the " World's Most Perfectly Developed Man " at 5' 10" might have been a bit too short to portray Burroughs' jungle hero. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that in 1912 you were not going to find someone built like a Mr. Olympia. So why would you expect Burroughs to create a character who looked like one.

I'm not saying Tarzan shouldn't be muscular. He should be. I just don't think he should be hugely muscled. Look at Mike Henry. I mean seriously look at him. Considered to be one of the best built actors to play Tarzan he doesn't have 18" arms outside of the dreams of a size queen or a studio publicist. But the former NFL linebacker is very muscular. He reminds one of the illustrations of Tarzan comic strip artist Burne Hogarth.

I think Mr.America, Mr.World, and Mr.Universe winner, Steve Reeves, could have been great posing as Tarzan for paperback photo covers. He did portray Kimbar , a Tarzan-like hero in a television pilot. Standing 6' 1 1/2" tall and weighing 215 pounds he was known for his symmetrical physique. Like Sandow , Reeves sought to obtain the " Grecian ideal " and not size for size sake. Burroughs describes Tarzan as being more Apollo than Hercules. That's a description that fits Reeves perfectly. Which is kind of funny when you consider that Steve Reeves is most famous for portraying the demigod Hercules on the big screen.


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